You Know You’re Addicted to Coffee When…
1- you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2-you sleep with your eyes open.
3- you have to watch videos in fast-foward.
4- the only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
5- you can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without the timer.
6-you’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
7-your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
8- you chew on other people’s fingernails.
9- the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
10- you can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
11-you can jump-start your car without cables.
12-you don’t sweat, you percolate.
13-you walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
14-you forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
15- you’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
16- Espresso coffee takes too long.
17- you channel surf faster without a remote.
18- you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
19- you short out motion detectors.
20- you don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
21- you help your dog chase its tail.
22- you soak your dentures in coffee.
23- your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee and an IV hook-up.
24- you get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
25- you answer the door before people knock.